Graceful Parenting in Austin

“%@$^* this %@$^*-ing door,” I yelled.

I was cursing at the sun room door because it was locked again. And by being locked, it was keeping me from where I needed to be and by making me get my keys out again, it was slowing me down, all of this preventing me from protecting my family from the raccoon that eats cat food from the cat bowl in our kitchen at night.

No, it wasn’t night at the time and the raccoon wasn’t in the house right then and I couldn’t really say there was an immediate danger. And I couldn’t really blame the door for the door being locked, since I had been the one who locked it. My righteous anger was beginning to unravel. Damn, this happens every time I battle with an inanimate object!

I could show the evidence that was the basis of my frustration, that I had left the house by the front door three times already, trying to get to the car to leave on an errand, with the baby in her car seat in my arms, which is awkward and heavy. But each time, before I made it to the car, I remembered something else I needed to do to setup the raccoon trap on the side of the house.

So I would head to the side of the house, then need to get in the sun room door. I cradled the car seat between my hip and the side of the house, but the door was locked, because I had locked up the house so I could run my errand.I set my baby in her car seat on the ground and reach in my pocket for my keys and unlock the door. I’m moving a little slower now, because I’m remembering that when I battle with inanimate objects, it usually turns out that I’m being an idiot. I’m so focused on being frustrated that I don’t realize there is a better way to handle things.

If there was a better way to handle things, and I wasn’t admitting that there was, then what would it be? Hmmmm. Wellllll. If there were, I imagine that it has something to do with slowing down. I could slow down and think through setting up the raccoon trap and take an extra minute to be sure it is done before I lock up the house and head to the car again.

Really?

Could it be that simple?

It seems to be working.

Then there is a minute when I wonder if I should be more embarrassed for cursing at the door or more impressed that I recovered quicker than I used to. When I first recognized the pattern and realized it didn’t work, I wasn’t so smart that I stopped being an idiot right away. But I was able, at some point, to recognize the pattern while it was happening and then sometime later, I was able to get out of the pattern a little sooner.

So I double checked that everything was in place, the trap, bait, plastic on top to keep the rain out, bricks on top of the plastic to keep the raccoon from tossing the cage on its side, which allows the front door to open and garbage cans around the trap to hide the cage from the neighbor cats who I wasn’t trying to trap. Now I’m ready to go. I lock up the house, carry Baby Girl in her car seat to the car and head off on my errand.

This is good news for all of the doors, dishes, drains and other objects in my house. There is hope we will get along better as time passes and I have more practice with what I have learned.