Comments on: Someone Has Been Reading My Journal http://www.gracefulparenting.net/2007/10/10/someone-has-been-reading-my-journal/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:33:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Jenna http://www.gracefulparenting.net/2007/10/10/someone-has-been-reading-my-journal/#comment-27 Jenna Wed, 31 Oct 2007 22:41:50 +0000 http://gracefulparenting.nfshost.com/?p=17#comment-27 That's really interesting, C. I think I parent Noel like the described father-type. However, I don't think it has squat to do with gender. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm not the primary caregiver, at least not the majority of the time. I wonder if that will shift next year when M and I will have her during the school year. The "mothering" bone goes into overdrive when there's homework and teeth-brushing to be done. Thank goodness for you. I'm so glad Noel has the fortune to have two women who love her like we do. That’s really interesting, C. I think I parent Noel like the described father-type. However, I don’t think it has squat to do with gender. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m not the primary caregiver, at least not the majority of the time. I wonder if that will shift next year when M and I will have her during the school year. The “mothering” bone goes into overdrive when there’s homework and teeth-brushing to be done. Thank goodness for you. I’m so glad Noel has the fortune to have two women who love her like we do.

]]> By: BR http://www.gracefulparenting.net/2007/10/10/someone-has-been-reading-my-journal/#comment-25 BR Thu, 11 Oct 2007 04:02:34 +0000 http://gracefulparenting.nfshost.com/?p=17#comment-25 I wonder how much of the different parenting styles simply relates to 2-person dynamics. Just as there can be a good-cop bad-cop, if one parent handles the details, the other might subconsciously takes a big picture view to balance things out. Since fewer dads than moms stay at home, the supposed gender-difference may just be a reflection of which gender is most often the child's primary caregiver. A parent who stays home with the child may view some aspects of parenthood as being part of their job, leaving the other parent alittle more tentative about intervening. The parent coming home hasn't been with the kids all day, and the parent at home is looking for a break - which parent is more likely to act like a kid & let little things slide? Growing up, my mother would make the rules but my dad never seemed to know the rules or the reasons for them. Was this because my father forgot the rules or because he was at work all day when the rules were being made and my mother didn't think to pass them on? I would argue that gender can indirectly affect your parenting style because society has different expectations for mothers than for fathers, but that parenting styles are not determined by the roles of "mother" and "father". I wonder how much of the different parenting styles simply relates to 2-person dynamics. Just as there can be a good-cop bad-cop, if one parent handles the details, the other might subconsciously takes a big picture view to balance things out.

Since fewer dads than moms stay at home, the supposed gender-difference may just be a reflection of which gender is most often the child’s primary caregiver. A parent who stays home with the child may view some aspects of parenthood as being part of their job, leaving the other parent alittle more tentative about intervening.

The parent coming home hasn’t been with the kids all day, and the parent at home is looking for a break - which parent is more likely to act like a kid & let little things slide?

Growing up, my mother would make the rules but my dad never seemed to know the rules or the reasons for them. Was this because my father forgot the rules or because he was at work all day when the rules were being made and my mother didn’t think to pass them on?

I would argue that gender can indirectly affect your parenting style because society has different expectations for mothers than for fathers, but that parenting styles are not determined by the roles of “mother” and “father”.

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