Graceful Parenting in Austin

There was a session at a women’s retreat I went to this weekend on Spiritual Journaling. At first I thought, “I don’t need that session! I totally know how to do that!” Except that I don’t do that anymore, which makes it a much less effective practice, so I thought I would go to the session after all.

The session was led by Casey and was fun because people talked about all the very real reasons to NOT keep a spiritual journal, for example:
- This isn’t the right kind of notebook. It is too big (or small), the lines are too confining (or I need lines to provide some boundaries), the paper is too think (or thin) and it doesn’t soak up the ink just right.
- This isn’t the right pen.
- I can’t find my pen.
- Writing is hard.
- I might not know what to say.
- There is no way I can justify taking even five minutes a day in such a self-centered, self-indulgent exercise with no measurable results.

I am very familiar with these reasons, they are all very good reasons. So why am I coming back to the idea? Because when I was keeping my Spiritual Journal, I was a nicer person. I focused more on the joy and less on life’s annoying, day-to-day, administrative details. I was more aware of the day I was creating and made more conscious choices.

So, for one and a half days so far, I have brought back the Spiritual Journal. I found a medium-sized, blue journal with lined pages and a simple, mechanical, pink pencil that fits just right into the elastic pencil holder on the side. I decided to journal in the morning while eating breakfast and for a few minutes again at night, in bed, before I go to sleep. I made my prompts simpler than before, so I can write for just a few minutes on busy days. Here is what I came up with.

Morning prompts
- What am I hopeful for today?
- How can I be kind?

Evening prompts
- How did it go with my wishes and kindness from the morning?
- What am I grateful for today?
- What do I want to remember?

I imagine everyone’s prompts might be different. I chose ones that had meaning for me, around these ideas:

Find joy in the everyday

Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in the big, important things. Like last year when I really, really wished that the University of Texas baseball team would win the College World Series. The team had a great year, they were ranked high, they had new talent like Kyle Russell and old veterans like Chance Wheeless, who will forever be my hero since his walk-off home run against Baylor in 2005.

But they lost oh, so early in the tournament to a team I had never heard of whose mascot was an anteater.

So I’m working on the idea that maybe real happiness is in the little moments. It is in dinner with the family, Baby Girl’s sweet smile, Noel’s cool drawings and a call in the middle of the day for no reason from Blue Eyes. If I take some time to recognize these moments and be grateful for them at least for a few minutes each day, then the anteaters of the world won’t get me down.

Choose kindness

I think people have an emotional signature of sorts. You know, when they walk in a room, the energy they bring with them, their history and your expectations for what might happen next, what does all of that feel like? Some people feel like anger or contentment or silliness. I want to feel like kindness. (Now, if my friends were here right now, they might call me on this and say something more like Frustration or Business, but I’m working on it!) When someone tells a story, I want my first reaction to be compassion. When someone makes me angry, I want to listen better. When I choose what I do during the day, I want to help my neighbor. I want to think a little each day about how I can be kind and then look back to see if it happened or not.

Everyone’s Spiritual Journal could be different. Maybe yours is a prayer or scripture journal, a list of things to be grateful for, a conversation with God, ideas on making the world a better place, insights and wisdom from the day, Something, anything, that goes beyond a list of the day’s activities, in search of a deeper meaning. It’s a practice that takes a few minutes out of the day to reflect on where you are and send your thoughts and energy in the direction you want to be.

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