Graceful Parenting in Austin

I feel like the holidays are a time to pause, reflect and renew, to step out of the everyday routine to really love how I wish I loved all year round.

Well, if that is true, then how come all I feel is busy, busy, busy and I run around, tripping over the cats, losing my keys and forever focusing on my mental list of all there is to do? Love? Really? What’s love got to do with it?

But, I’m trying to take the holidays back…

Technorati Tags: christmas, graceful parenting, gratefullness, holidays, parenting, parenting philosophy, thankfulness

This time of year is reminding me of when I worked for a software start-up that operated in a constant state of extreme urgency. We were always on the verge of making millions and also on the verge of losing the one deal that would shut the doors, so every day was very, very important. I found myself running down the halls, not a full-speed run, but a light jog, down the hall, with some bit of information that needed to get to the right person right away.

I was able to stop myself, not all the time, but most of the time. I had a mantra, “I am not an E.R. doctor and no one is going to die.” I would repeat this to myself several times and take a few deep breaths. Because I learned that, while the extreme urgency can be exciting, it is very hard to maintain and more important that that, it doesn’t really work. Well, it probably is helpful in the E.R., but not so much when making software. The work that comes out of the extremely urgent situations is usually the work that I laugh about over a drink with my coworkers a few months later.

It doesn’t work for Christmas either. The love of Christmas gets lost and I’m left with anxiety and frustration instead.

I need a mantra for Christmas. To remind myself it isn’t about the shopping or the errands or cooking. To not get wrapped up and consumed by the details. To remember that this is a time to pause, reflect and renew. To step out of the every day routine. To really love how I wish I loved year round. My mantra is “Return to Love.” If I find myself in a light jog down the hall, I will stop and say “Return to Love” and take a few deep breaths. It will be special, even if I’m missing a batch of cookies or I miss one of the holiday parties. I will do what I can, so long as the love doesn’t get lost.

[Update - I realized the irony as I was rushing to finish this post, just in time before waking up Baby Girl and heading to pick up Noel from school, if not in a light jog, at least in a brisk walk. Well, I wouldn't have come up with a mantra if I didn't really need one...]