Graceful Parenting in Austin

This was going to be my Christmas Day post, an essay that was published in ParentWise: Austin this month, which normally wouldn’t take a long time to post, since it was already written, except I had a stomach bug, Noel had allergies, Baby Girl didn’t want to sleep at all and we ran out of diapers…. so this is my day-after-Christmas post about my time as Santa’s saddest Christmas elf…

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I was organizing storage boxes the other day and among the old pictures, favorite t-shirts and childhood time boxes was a framed picture—an abstract of a dancer in red, green and blue glitter. It jolted me back two decades.

I was the saddest Christmas elf in history. I had graduated college, but couldn’t find a job, so I was taking classes again, randomly, with no particular goal in mind. I hadn’t made any friends at the new college and I spent a lot of time alone. I had just gotten out of the hospital, after being hit by a car when riding my bike. I was recovering from a head injury, badly bruised tailbone and aches and pains everywhere in-between. I was also dealing with the guilt I felt, since it had gotten dark and the car couldn’t see me, so I had been the cause of the accident that totaled three cars. My only relief was the miracle that no one had been seriously hurt.

So there I was, an honors college graduate working for minimum wage as a Christmas Elf at Six Flags.

I had to supervise two lines jammed with kids waiting to visit Santa: one line for kids who were buying pictures and one for kids who weren’t. One line was much shorter than the other in a way that kids and parents could see. And I had to do the hard sell, pushing key chains and picture frames on the parents.

Then a little girl was next. She was about six and blond and shy. She hesitated, not sure if she wanted to see Santa, holding up the line a bit. It is a good thing my boss wasn’t around, because her Mom wasn’t even buying pictures.

I knelt down and met her eyes and asked, “Do you want to sit on Santa’s lap?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said.

There was an arts and crafts area setup nearby for kids to make paper snowflakes and glue-and-glitter pictures. I said, “Maybe you could make a picture for a while, then come see Santa if you feel like it when you’re done.”

She smiled at this idea. Her Mom smiled too. Her Mom took her hand and they went to make a picture.

A while later, the little girl came back. I knelt down again to talk to her. She said, “I made this picture for Santa” and she showed it to me.
A picture for Santa? You mean out of all the kids not hesitating to ask Santa for everything they want, you thought to give something to Santa? I almost cried. I almost hugged her. I loved this little girl. Then she said, “And I made this picture for you.”

The picture was on white paper with creases in it; she must have started to make a paper snowflake, then changed her mind. She had drizzled Elmer’s glue in a random design, except I thought I could see a dancer in the middle. Then she sprinkled the glue with red, green and blue glitter and it was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. Then I did cry and I did hug her and I loved her even more and I loved the Universe and God and Jesus for sending me this special girl at a time when I really needed her.

I am amazed I still have that picture, almost twenty years later. But I am grateful that I thought to keep it, especially now that I am a mother myself.

It reminds me of that special little girl and the power of a simple act of kindness. I want to teach this to my daughters—to not spend all of their time asking for what they want; to take time each day to be grateful for what they have; and to make room in their hearts to give unexpected presents to others.