Graceful Parenting in Austin

Welcome and thank you for coming! I’m excited about the new look and fun features like the Most Popular Posts and headings-only list for older posts. There will be new posts every day this week, so stay tuned for stories and information and hopefully a smile or two.To begin the week, learn why Gary Ezzo from Baby Wise and Dr. Sears from Attachment Parenting both remind me of Nixon, Bobby Kennedy and Jane Fonda…

I got my Newsweek in the mail a few weeks ago and the cover said 1968 with pictures of Robert Kennedy, Nixon and Martin Luther King and I thought, oh my, why are we still talking about this?… Not that all of these people weren’t talented and important and not that they didn’t have an impact on our politics and culture, it is just that this is 2007, so why can’t we move on?But the article in Newsweek made sense…. Well, parenting is pretty hard and I look for the balance between trusting my instincts and learning new things, and so I’ll spend some of my time reading the books. There are two that I hear about, think about and talk about pretty often and while they seem very different on the surface, they also have some things in common, beginning with my belief that they are both firmly rooted in 1968.The first book is “On Becoming Baby Wise” (Gary Ezzo, Robert Dr Bucknam)…. Click here for a book review.The second book is “The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby” (William Sears, Martha Sears).

This is best accomplished by:- Following a sleep-eat-play routine, with a consistent time between sleep-eat-play cycles.- Training your baby to fall asleep on her own- Making decisions about feedings and naps, not letting the baby decideI believe a parent’s number one job isn’t order and discipline, it is to love, love, love their baby…. This may not feel right, he seems to be saying that when you baby is upset you shouldn’t feed her right away and if breast feeding your baby would comfort her, you should Just Say No…. I asked around and read some books and tried some things and I found that the ideas in “The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer” (Harvey Karp) worked really well to comfort Baby Girl.And it’s not just about me getting to keep my shirt on, it is about Blue Eyes too…. Sometimes it is hard to not do what is easiest for the baby, but I don’t think that is realistic or sustainable and I don’t think the baby needs that to be happy.An Exercise in Practicing Your Own Good JudgementWhile there are several ideas of Ezzo’s that work for me, some of the other ideas are pretty nuts…. When I think of people with a natural tendency towards order and authority, who implement the ideas in this book without fail, I have sad visions of crying and hungry babies.The Last WordEzzo feels like the Dad in 1968 that longed for order and stability instead of out-of-control personal freedoms.

If “The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby” (William Sears, Martha Sears)were a guy and I was single and we met in a bar, I would have thought we would get along…. But when we start talking about specifics, I started to get angry and I want to set down my drink, get up off the bar stool and punch him.Main IdeasWilliam and Martha Sears believe that the best way to build a secure attachment with your baby, which is the basis for healthy relationships as an adult, is to be in close proximity with your baby as much as possible. There are five main tools for attachment parenting:Connect With your baby early - Breast feed your baby as soon as possible after birth and room-in with your baby at the hospital.Read and respond to your baby’s cues - Instead of your baby eating and sleeping on a schedule, follow his cues and eat and sleep in smaller doses.Breast feed you baby Wear your babyShare sleep with your babyWhat We Agree OnI believe in Attachment Theory that says the human infant needs a secure relationship with adult caregivers for normal social and emotional development to occur. It defines a secure infant as one that will explore freely while the parent is present, will engage with strangers, will be visibly upset when the parent departs, and happy to see the parent return. It defines a secure parent as one who responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to the emotional as well as the physical needs of the child.What Makes Me NutsSometimes I just read one page of this book and it makes me so nuts from beginning to end.