I Work On the 5th Floor
I’m back at work. Between hospital stays, bedrest and caring for Baby Girl, I was out of the office for eleven months. Here are some thoughts about my first week back at work.
Baby Girl is doing well at Ms. Ellen’s. We practiced for a few weeks before I started work. The practice was for me. When I pick Baby Girl up, Ellen asks “How did YOU do today?” because Baby Girl does fine, I’m the one who needs time to adjust.
On Monday, I get to the office and I’m in the elevator and I don’t know which number to push. I don’t remember what floor I work on…
I’m pretty sure I’m in the right building. But my company is on multiple floors. Hmmm, five sounds familiar…
When I got to my cube, I saw my Austin Events calendar on the cube wall, on the month of March. Not March 2008, but March 2007. The month when I was at work and I knew something was wrong and I left and I didn’t come back. That March. I take the calendar down. I have a new one I got for Christmas, the same Austin Events calendar, but for 2008. I turn it to March and hang it up. I feel a little sad for all that has happened, I want to go back to that day and have things turn out different. If not that, at least go back and tell myself that I’ll be all right.
I find a post-it on my desk that says “Think about it. Chuck.” I don’t know what that means.
I wonder a lot about what Baby Girl is doing. If she is eating or sleeping or smiling or playing with the other babies.
It is good to see people again. I had forgotten how many friends I have at work. They ask about Baby Girl and I love to tell them.
I scrounge for free food. The receptionist sends emails when there is food left over from a sales meeting and then I head up to the seventh floor to get some. As if I’m in college and it’s pizza. You see, I’m working a shorter day in the office, making up the time from home when Baby Girl is asleep. So I’m not taking a lunch hour. But, I’m waking up so early to work that I also don’t want to make a lunch at home. And I’ve eaten at least a thousand Amy’s Frozen Dinners, I’m not ready for more of that. So I eat fruit, which leaves me pretty hungry. I need a better plan for lunch.
I find my purple plastic mug that has had Crystal Light in it from last March. Yuuuuck.
Two people ask me how my twins are doing. It’s OK that they ask. I explain that Grace passed away and we just have Sophia now.
On Thursday I realize that, when I ordered new business cards because my old ones had the wrong address, I actually typed in the wrong address again on the on-line order form. I might have done a hundred smart things during the week, but I can’t help but focus on how ridiculous it is that I would make such a stupid mistake. It’s strange how some folks can have a short fuse with their husband or boss, but I have the shortest fuse for myself.
There is a work party on Thursday night. With all that is going on at home with Blue Eyes and Noel heading out of town, Baby Girl having an ear infection again and me trying to adjust to so many changes, Blue Eyes and I almost don’t make it. I’m glad we went. I’m reminded again how many genuine and kind people I work with. People said some really nice things about me coming back. I remembered good things about them. Sometimes I can be such a focused and serious worker that I forget that the people are more important than the work.
Friday comes around and everything seems to still be all right. Baby Girl is happy and sweet. I’m looking forward to projects at work. Blue Eyes and Noel made it off on their Spring Break trip to see family and visit New York. It feels really different. I need to remember more things. I need to stay centered more than ever, with what really matters. I need to forget the business cards. I need to not get caught up in the constant-sense-of-urgency life that I had before. I used to think I couldn’t do all of that and also work. But now I think I can. I will let you know how it goes.
For now, I believe that I’ll remember what I need to remember, beginning with, I work on the 5th floor…
Technorati Tags: babies, Diet, parenting, working mom
I’m pretty sure I’m in the right building. But my company is on multiple floors. Hmmm, five sounds familiar…
When I got to my cube, I saw my Austin Events calendar on the cube wall, on the month of March. Not March 2008, but March 2007. The month when I was at work and I knew something was wrong and I left and I didn’t come back. That March. I take the calendar down. I have a new one I got for Christmas, the same Austin Events calendar, but for 2008. I turn it to March and hang it up. I feel a little sad for all that has happened, I want to go back to that day and have things turn out different. If not that, at least go back and tell myself that I’ll be all right.
I find a post-it on my desk that says “Think about it. Chuck.” I don’t know what that means.
I wonder a lot about what Baby Girl is doing. If she is eating or sleeping or smiling or playing with the other babies.
It is good to see people again. I had forgotten how many friends I have at work. They ask about Baby Girl and I love to tell them.
I scrounge for free food. The receptionist sends emails when there is food left over from a sales meeting and then I head up to the seventh floor to get some. As if I’m in college and it’s pizza. You see, I’m working a shorter day in the office, making up the time from home when Baby Girl is asleep. So I’m not taking a lunch hour. But, I’m waking up so early to work that I also don’t want to make a lunch at home. And I’ve eaten at least a thousand Amy’s Frozen Dinners, I’m not ready for more of that. So I eat fruit, which leaves me pretty hungry. I need a better plan for lunch.
I find my purple plastic mug that has had Crystal Light in it from last March. Yuuuuck.
Two people ask me how my twins are doing. It’s OK that they ask. I explain that Grace passed away and we just have Baby Girl now.
On Thursday I realize that, when I ordered new business cards because my old ones had the wrong address, I actually typed in the wrong address again on the on-line order form. I might have done a hundred smart things during the week, but I can’t help but focus on how ridiculous it is that I would make such a stupid mistake. It’s strange how some folks can have a short fuse with their husband or boss, but I have the shortest fuse for myself.
There is a work party on Thursday night. With all that is going on at home with Blue Eyes and Noel heading out of town, Baby Girl having an ear infection again and me trying to adjust to so many changes, Blue Eyes and I almost don’t make it. I’m glad we went. I’m reminded again how many genuine and kind people I work with. People said some really nice things about me coming back. I remembered good things about them. Sometimes I can be such a focused and serious worker that I forget that the people are more important than the work.
Friday comes around and everything seems to still be all right. Baby Girl is happy and sweet. I’m looking forward to projects at work. Blue Eyes and Noel made it off on their Spring Break trip to see family and visit New York. It feels really different. I need to remember more things. I need to stay centered more than ever, with what really matters. I need to forget the business cards. I need to not get caught up in the constant-sense-of-urgency life that I had before. I used to think I couldn’t do all of that and also work. But now I think I can. I will let you know how it goes.
For now, I believe that I’ll remember what I need to remember, beginning with, I work on the 5th floor…
