Prayers for Helen

Whatever kind of prayers you might say, if they are formal and traditional or kind thoughts and wishes, can you say a prayer for Helen? I called Adult Protective Services (APS) this week and her life is likely to change…

Technorati Tags: faith, parenting

I showed up at Helen’s with the case worker. When I called APS, I figured it would take a while for the government agency to respond, but her case worker called me a few hours later. He said he wanted to visit Helen and it would be easier if someone she knew was with him and then I realized he was talking about me. Well, I had thought I would be anonymous in all of this, but showing up with the guy would definitely give me away. I asked, “When?” and he said “Today.”

I was so nervous at Helen’s house, introducing her to my ‘friend’ Jack, the case worker. (From here on, I’ve changed the names.) Would she be angry with me? Her son, Henry, would be mad for sure. I’m accusing him of neglecting his Mom.

Helen took Jack’s business card and asked why he was here. Jack said he just wants to see how she is doing. Helen seemed all right with that, so far. We all sat down and started to talk.

I called because of the kitchen. The last time I visited, Helen’s daughter-in-law, Karen, was there and she showed me the kitchen cabinets full of old, rotted, decaying food. Nothing that could be eaten. There had to be rats. I didn’t seen any, but I saw enough to know they were there. So I called.

Helen told us that her sister died the day before. Henry had taken her to Houston for the funeral. She was really sad about her sister dying. Jack asked if Helen would like to talk to a counselor. Helen didn’t understand the question, because for her, a person just has to deal with what happens. She said when something bad happens, her husband and sons go hunting. Jack asks if she has something she does for herself when she is sad. She says ‘No.’ I ask her if she remembers that her husband and one of her two sons have passed away. She thinks about it, then says, ‘Oh, yes, I remember now. I just have Henry now.’

At the house earlier in the week, Karen explained why she and Henry couldn’t help Helen, stories of family drama, alcoholism and accusations of stealing. Helen talks about her family so sweetly, maybe she is remembering long ago, because, for whatever reasons, they aren’t there for her now.

Helen was pretty together in some ways with Jack. She was good at saying she didn’t need help and explaining that she has lots of family and they come see her and take care of her. But when Jack would ask more about it, the picture would get more clear and Jack knew that Helen’s family didn’t visit that much and she doesn’t have a way to get groceries and she hasn’t seen a doctor in a long time.

Jack was kind and persistent and Helen finally said she would be all right if Meals on Wheels brought her some hot meals at lunch. She also agreed to go to the senior center, if someone could drive her there. I asked Helen about maybe going to church. Helen said, yes, she goes to church every Sunday with her husband and two sons.

As we were leaving, when Helen couldn’t see us anymore, Jack said, “Call me on my cell” and he rolled his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking. Can Helen live alone anymore? Will Helen be taken from her home?

I called Jack and he said no, that wouldn’t happen, at least not now. She needs to see a doctor, though, then they will know more.

Jack is working on things on his end. I’m getting someone from her church to drive her to church on Sundays and finding a maid to clean her house. Maybe Family Eldercare can help, now that Helen might be more willing to accept help.

Will the little things that can be done add up to enough? Will Helen be OK in her house? I don’t know. I say a prayer for her each morning, that in all the confusion of what she remembers and what she doesn’t, she’ll remember that she knew love. I can feel it in the house, that she has happy family memories there. I pray that she remembers the love.