Graceful Parenting in Austin

It was Blue Eyes’ idea to come to The Crossings, a retreat and wellness spa in Austin. Just two nights, he said, just the two of us. It is, after all, our 5th wedding anniversary.

I wasn’t sure what he meant at first by ‘just the two of us.’ But after asking lots of questions and putting it all together in my head, I realized the girls wouldn’t be with us. Blue Eyes’ parents were in town and his sister lived here and they could take care of the girls.

On our first afternoon, Blue Eyes signed us up for a couples massage, he didn’t tell me what kind. I wrote on my check-in form that I wanted to work on balance and letting go. First was balance, not in the let-me-figure-out-how-to-balance-a-million-things, but how to be all right with doing less than a million things. Second was letting go, in the sense that part of me wanted to know what kind of massage it was going to be and if it would be deep tissue and if they would use enough pressure and I decided as I was filling out my form that I could do some more letting go. (Maybe a lot to ask from an hour, huh?)

Blue Eyes and I were in the waiting area when two massage therapists walked in and I thought the therapist asked for Carol Watsu, which isn’t me, I’m Carol Ramsey, then she said no, Watsu is the king of massage.

Blue Eyes and I, along with the two therapists, walked outside to the Watsu pool, which looked like a large hot tub, but without the jets, and the water was warm instead of hot. One of the therapists explained that we would float in the water and they would move and fold and stretch our bodies against and with the water. We would have floats on our legs and they would hold our upper bodies, always making sure our face was above the water. We didn’t need to help them, they would be doing all of the work.

It was about letting go.

At first, I tried to figure out how it worked. With two therapists and Blue Eyes and I all in the pool at the same time, were their moves choreographed so we didn’t run into each other? Did they memorize a routine or were the moves more spontaneous? What would it look like from up above the pool, did we look like a synchronized swim team?

OK, OK, OK, I tried to think more about letting go.

The stretches felt good and I was getting more used to not doing anything. Then I started thinking about Noel’s feet and how they are hurting her and we planned to take her to a new podiatrist, but I had a better idea, maybe we should try ordering a new right insert using the plaster mold that exists already and see if that helps first.

OK, OK, still letting go.

And what about the chocolate strawberries in our room? We were worried if they would last without a refrigerator, instead of worry we should bring them to the dining room and share them with people….

OK, still letting go.

I should get one of these massages at work because I’m having a lot of good ideas, so I should get half-way relaxed like this, then start thinking of how the next enterprise release is going to tie together….

Each round of thoughts is shorter than the last and the time in-between, when my mind is quiet and I’m just stretching, floating and breathing, is longer. A massage is usually two-dimensional, bounded by the massage table, but this one is three-dimensional, with my body in all different positions. I feel the pressure of the therapist’s hands and the pressure of the water, when my body is moved against it. There are canvas panels above the pool and one of the panels is pulled back so when I pass underneath, I can feel the sun on my face.

At one point, I realize the therapist has three arms. Or at least I think she does. One arm is around my neck, the other holding my knee and the third massaging my foot. How did she do that? Then I realize, thank goodness, that my therapist did not grow an extra arm. She had put a float collar around my neck so she could work more with my legs and feet.

But mostly, by now, I’m just stretching, floating and breathing. Away from the world and things to do and things to think about. Time to just let go.

Near the end, I became more aware of the others in the pool and then I was next to someone and the therapist put my hand in Blue Eye’s. We were both quiet and still and breathing. It was nice to share this space with him.

No. I’m not Carol Watsu. But, I’ll sign-up for the Watsu massage again. And another five (or ten or sixty) years of marriage. And to keep being a Mom, wife, friend and employee, getting things done for everyone, but also taking some time, now and then, to let it all go.