Graceful Parenting in Austin

Erin Kotecki Vest might be all famous and powerful because she interviewed Barack Obama for BlogHer and I guess that is a big deal, but here in Texas, sports are a big deal too, and in Austin, University of Texas baseball is legendary, so here is my interview with the winningest head coach in NCAA Division I baseball history, Augie Garrido, well, sort of….

Interview might be a strong word.

How it happened is Blue Eyes and I went to the world premiere of the movie Inning By Inning - A Portrait of a Coach. The movie told the story of Augie Garrido’s four-decade-plus career in which he started winning National Championships in the 70s and is still winning them in the 2000s. The movie was produced by local film maker Richard Linklater who also produced Slacker, Before Sunset and School of Rock.

So, we arrived at the theater about the same time as Augie Garrido. Here is a picture from the red carpet for a movie premier in Austin, Texas. Notice the jeans, t-shirts and cowboy hat. Austin is a pretty casual town, but, hey, there were still lights and cameras and it made Michael Barnes’ Out and About column, so it was glamorous enough. Blue Eyes and I were in the lobby and I couldn’t believe Augie Garrido was standing right there, because a National Championship is about as rare and precious as a cool summer day in Austin and this man has five of them.

So, here is how the interview goes. I’m feeling a little shy so Blue Eyes asks him, “Augie, do you mind if I take a picture of you with my wife?” And Augie says “Sure, but we have to hurry.”

All right, that was it. We took a picture and then the lights in the lobby started to flicker because the movie was about to start. So, maybe Erin Kotecki Vest’s interview with Barack Obama really was better.

After the movie, Augie Garrido and Richard Linklater answered questions from the audience and I had thought ahead of time to ask something about how his coaching philosophy relates to parenting, but I looked on the Internet to find out about his family and I learned about three wives and a girlfriend, but nothing about kids, so maybe he didn’t have any, which would make my question pretty awkward.

So, in place of a real interview, here is my interpretation of Augie’s coaching style as it relates to parenting.

1. Don’t focus on the National Championship. It is too far away and you can’t know everything it takes to get there. Focus on this inning, this at-bat, this pitch. If you focus on the present, the here-and-now, the part you can influence the most, then the wins will take care of themselves.

I see this with Noel. In my early years as a step-parent, it was hard and I spent time worrying about the long term, that maybe we would never be close, that we would struggle without the bonds that most parents form with their kids when they are young. But, when I thought instead about just today, just this conversation, just this moment that we are sharing, then it was easier because I could handle the individual moments more easily than they entire, life-long relationship. And when I did that, after a while, when I looked up from what we were doing, our relationship had grown, built upon all of the many little moments.

2. It’s just a game and the game is everything. It isn’t really about if you win this game or not. It is about if you are present, engaged and giving your very best effort. That is the game that really matters. That game is worth all of your mind and heart and soul. (And, it just happens that when you play this way, you tend to win a lot of games.)

Blue Eyes and I have struggled with how to teach Noel about success. Is it all about competition where there are winners and losers and she’d better end up on top? Should she be hard on herself when she fails, as the price to pay for more success? Instead of success and failure itself, we focus on her being engaged and active in her learning and choices and making her best effort. The effort is what is important. (We haven’t been doing this for very long, we first thought about it here.)

3. Find the joy. Augie tells his players all the time that they don’t realize how much fun they are having right now. He reminds them to take time from the pressure to have fun and enjoy the game.

I need reminding of this sometimes as a parent. I get wrapped up in getting the kids to school and getting work done at work and keeping the house in some kind of order, but I’m learning more and more to remember to step back from the pressure and just enjoy where I am. Enjoy Baby Girl’s smile and Noel’s jokes and Blue Eyes’ kisses. A day isn’t worth much, no matter how many things I get done, unless I find the joy and give it equal time.

So, that is my not-really-an-interview with Augie Garrido. Maybe when I get to be a big time blogger like Erin Kotecki Vest, then I might get ten minutes with the man himself. For now, I will watch UT baseball (I’ll have to wait until next year, since UT lost in the Super Regional to Rice this past Sunday) and catch Augie in the movies.

More info:

Inning by Inning is an ESPN movie and will play in June. I couldn’t find the information on ESPN.com or anywhere else, but if I remember right, these are the dates…

• June 15, ESPN 2

• June 16, ESPN 1

• June 17, ESPNU