Comments on: Passion Sucks

By: Carol

Carol — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:03:00 +0000

I see the post by Laurism differently. I disagree on some of the details, but her basic idea is that she doesn’t want to be judged for being an older Mom and I understand that. I’m an older Mom too.

The birthing experience is so interesting, there isn’t anything else in the world like it. My take on it is different than a lot of the women posting and commenting about the AMA issue. For me, if my baby is born healthy, then I’m good. I’m not so particular about the rest.

By: Clare

Clare — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 05:43:00 +0000

Carol,
I read the Blogher Blog by “Laureism” and I truly felt that her thoughts and writing were plainly naive. The notion that the lay of ones life is a choice is *fabulously* naive, to the point of arrogance. In my own arrogant way, I wonder how “Laureism’s” life has any genuine passion of depth if she is so short on empathy and experience.

In any case, she hit a very raw nerve in you, and I’m sorry for the hurt. NO one can deny the sorrow and sacrifice you’ve made over the past 4 years. On the other hand, you are a wiser, kinder more compassionate person than she. And you have a beautiful family. Nyah! Oops, that wasn’t very graceful of me!

As for the doctor/midwife debate: I’ve been at four births, two of which were my own kids’ births. Three of the births I’ve witnessed had birth plans. One birth had a female physician. One birth had a female midwife in a birthing center. In all four births, the mother/I wound up having things stray from the birth plan against the mother’s/my preference. All four births were not what the mother’s/I had hoped for. Yes, the babies/moms/I were all healthy. But as you know, if the hope/calling craves satisfaction, and if it isn’t satisfied, then there is loss. I tried very hard to have both my kids’ births go as I wanted them to go. But then they didn’t because the midwife/doctor didn’t honor my wishes. If a mother is denied something (by someone she trusted) because decisions were taken out of her hands when she was in a compromised position, then that is a very bitter pill to swallow.

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:46:15 +0000

I spent a time thinking the fertility business was too Brave-New-World, an unnatural and bizarre take on what should be very natural. But I’ve known since I was a girl that I wanted to be pregnant and have babies. Yes, it was a calling.

By: Jenna

Jenna — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:50:29 +0000

It’s so complicated, life. The making of it, the living it.

I must admit that until I observed your pregnancy and Baby Girl’s birth I was pretty clueless about fertility issues. You’ve helped me be more compassionate.

Please don’t kick me out of the family for thinking this, but for most of my life I’ve believed that if a woman is unable to have a child “naturally,” it’s either adoption or radical acceptance of childlessness.

But for some of us, motherhood is a calling. It’s a rite of passage, a passion stronger than anything else.

So I’ve changed my mind. There should always be a choice, for all of us.

By: zellmer

zellmer — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:08:12 +0000

Well, I admire your passion. It made me laugh to know that somebody out there gets as worked up as I do.

Now let’s have lunch.