Graceful Parenting in Austin

Sarah Palin fascinates me. A conservative and an ambitious, working Mom. It doesn’t fit into the every day definitions of how we divide the red and the blue and I love reading about how people react to her. It got me to thinking, I wonder what the Attachment Parenting folks think?

I’ve said already in this post, that if I met Dr. Sears, the father of Attachment Parenting, I would punch him.

I believe his basic premise, that Moms need to breast feed, co-sleep and wear their babies in order to develop a healthy attachment to their baby is just plain crap. I spent a lot of time, beginning with Dr. Sears’ own web site, looking for the research that supports this and it doesn’t exist. There is research like this - Co-sleeping parents have more parenting interactions with their baby during the night. Oh, my, did a researcher really spend money to figure that out? And that is SOOOOOOOOOO far from proving that overnight parenting interactions make any difference in the healthy attachment between Mom and baby.

Why punch him? Because he says the ideal Mom as one who breast feeds on demand and wears her baby in a sling 3-4 hours a day and continues to parent her baby during the night. (When does she sleep exactly?) Now, I think it is just fine that this works for some Moms and babies, but it doesn’t work for me and the idea that I will be hurting my child if I don’t do this is a big huge load of parenting guilt unsupported by research.

Well, that is my old post. Here is my new post. I was curious what Attachment Parenting advocates thought of Sarah Palin. By accepting this nomination, she won’t be able to breast feed on demand or wear her baby 3-4 hours a day. I can’t say she doesn’t co-sleep, but holy cow, if she does and still has energy for her day job, she is pretty unique and extraordinary. What would they think of a Mom who agrees to take on one of the two most demanding jobs in the country while she has an infant?

Well, for one thing, I know that for as many Attachment Parenting advocates as there are out there, there may be that many different opinions on Sarah Palin. But the two blog posts I found in my Google search had similar ideas and once again, I was fascinated. I found posts by Carol of Parenting Freedom and Martha Sears herself, wife of Dr. Sears and co-author or many Attachment Parenting books, posting on Mothering By Grace. Both posts support Sarah Pain.

Carol (not me, the other Carol) has a long post with many stories and pictures about Palin’s Attachment Parenting-inspired mothering credentials. She includes as supporting evidence the story that Sarah Palin gave birth while Mayor to her daughter, Piper, and returned to work the next day. This is evidence of Palin’s strength.

Then there is the story of Palin’s pregnancy with Trigg, her newest baby. Palin noticed her amniotic fluid was leaking right before giving a speech in Texas. She gives the speech, then gets on an eight-hour plane flight to Alaska without letting the airline know she was in labor. Then her husband drove her 45 minutes to a hospital. This is evidence of her Attachment Parenting because she didn’t treat pregnancy like an illness.

The post by Martha Sears is less specific, but in general, seems to say that if the Mom can’t do the Attachment Parenting, it is OK for the older brother and sisters to do it.

I’m not saying that Palin needs to follow Attachment Parenting to be a good Mom. I did just say I would punch Dr. Sears if I met him, right? And I think she gets to decide how to take care of her family. And I think it is time that people stop assuming that her husband is less qualified to play the caregiving role.

Well, now I’ve done a complete circle, so what is my point anyway? That Sarah Palin is breaking the traditional rules for what is red and blue. People I think of as liberal are questioning her ability to take care of an infant and people who are traditionally conservative are defending her mothering choices. Is this healthy?

No, it isn’t healthy. I wish people were more often more able to evaluate information and form an opinion outside of the ideological paradigm where they feel most comfortable. How much of our political commentary these days is not from objective analysts, but political operatives from each of the parties, manipulating the information to fit an agenda? How much of our debate is distorted by each of us wanting to protect our own current point of view more than we want to listen and learn?

And Yes, it’s healthy. The healthy part is that when a person or event causes a fundamental shift in the way we have organized the blue and red for a long time, people’s biases allow them to see the other point of view for the first time. Maybe some liberal women are reminded of how important the traditional role of Mom is. Maybe some conservative women understand more when a woman wants to take on an important job while also raising her kids.

Hopefully, this will be a long-term outcome of this election, that the deeply engrained paradigms of the red and blue get beat up some to make purple, which is a prettier color anyway, and we all learn a little more about each other.