Graceful Parenting in Austin

I’ve shared with ya’ll all of the money (you know, like the Free Box of Huggies Coupon) and fame (my Wall Street Journal interview that didn’t get published) that blogging brings. But I haven’t mentioned the many job opportunities. I was on Craig’s list the other day (trying to sell Neil Diamond tickets in San Antonio, anyone want to see Neil Diamond in San Antonio?) and saw lots of actual paying jobs for bloggers. Amazing! I could be rich! There was generally some obscure topic associated with a company selling something, like men’s outdoor footwear. I met all of the job qualifications for this one, except for the last line - Must have genuine interest in men’s outdoor footwear. Hmmmmm, wellllll…..

But then I got an email in my inbox looking for bloggers about babies. That sounds like a better match, but it’s about Baby Learning and the funny thing is, I’m just about equally interested in Baby Learning and men’s outdoor footwear…

How could I not be interested in Baby Learning? I’m a Mom, I have a baby and I want her to learn, right?

Well, let me tell you…

I’m not really against talking and counting and reading and math. These are all good things. But sometimes I hear Moms talk about how soon their kid learned what and I get a sense that the more they learn, the sooner, the better, as if it is a race. The Brill Baby (short for Brilliant Baby) web site that sent me the email talks about how your baby can learn with the help of sign language DVDs, math flash cards and reading software. I imagine daily lessons, a time table for accomplishments and behavioral reward systems.

What I want to teach Baby Girl most isn’t about language or counting. What I want to teach her most of all is joy. How to find joy in eating a meal and going for a walk or playing with her stuffed animals. I feel that if I approach my time with her with a sense of joy, if I listen to her and interact in the moment, if I talk to her about the pretty weather and our friendly neighbors and how this world is a good place and there are so many amazing opportunities waiting for her, then I will be teaching her what I want her to know.

I don’t know if that makes sense when I read that I can tell it sounds pretty corny. It is just that I learned that the details aren’t what make me happy (which job, how much money, where I live, etc.) it is the feeling and expectations I wake up with in the morning, it is a hopeful and grateful outlook. I hope I can model and teach that most of all.

I’m not ALL against learning. I teach her a little sign language, we listen and dance to music together, we read books and sometimes we count the steps as we walk up our front porch.

But I don’t need the videos or flash cards or web sites. I don’t need to teach her new sign language every day or count out every set of steps in our path or say things like “Look at tall Karen in the blue dress with two legs.” to improve her vocabulary.

You may not know this about me, but having babies has not come easy to me. Oh, my, this story could be a hundred posts, let me just say that my body is not well suited for getting pregnant or staying pregnant and to see Baby Girl at 15 months and to start feeling my new baby inside me are both serious and profound miracles. Given this experience, two paths lay before me. One path is to be very careful about absolutely everything and diligently follow all of the rules for all of the things that might help my babies. The other path is to realize that, given the enormity of the miracle of a baby’s life, what matters is that you love your baby and you practice that love and the details aren’t important. It doesn’t matter if they have a big sign language vocabulary and it doesn’t matter if they learn to count when they are two instead of one. If you love your baby and practice that love, the details just don’t matter. That is my path.

So, I don’t have a genuine interest in baby learning, kind of like men’s outdoor footwear, so I guess I won’t find my fame and fortune at BrillBaby.com. I’ll have to stick with GracefulParenting.net. which is my home and like Dorthy said, there is no place like home.