Graceful Parenting in Austin

It’s Sunday morning, Baby Girl and I just finished breakfast and Blue Eyes is outside mowing the lawn. Some times, just after I finish eating, by stomach changes its mind. This time I don’t get much warning, I rush to the bathroom, lift the toilet lid and let go of my english muffins and apple juice.

I see in the corner of my eye that Baby Girl has followed me into the bathroom. Will she get upset? No, she seems to just be curious. I finish throwing up. Then the toilet lid smacks the top of my head. She didn’t mean anything by it. She was just being curious.

And that is what my last few days have felt like. A smack in the head while I’m throwing up. Well, at least I found my big underwear…

Have you ever met a woman who is pregnant and becomes a walking list of symptoms that she will share with you, in great detail, on a daily basis, as if her body is the most fascinating organism on the planet and she is the first woman to ever be pregnant? Which is OK if she is a best friend, but not as much fun if she isn’t? That’s not me, I don’t need the daily attention and other topics are more interesting. But, I’m all for balance, you know? So, today I will be that woman.

There is a small pharmacy on my kitchen counter of pregnancy-approved drugs for uncomfortable symptoms. There are pills for upset stomach and constipation. There is allergy medicine to try to clear up my ears so they stop ringing and making me dizzy. There is acid reflux medicine to stop the acid that feeds back up into the back of my throat, making it sore and giving me a bitter taste in my mouth along with a gross feeling like there is food in the back of my throat. This also means I don’t swallow normally, so spit collects in my mouth, then I swallow and it doesn’t even taste like my own spit, and it makes me more nauseous. Then there is the antibiotic for the bladder infection and the cream for the yeast infection caused by the antibiotics for the bladder infection. I think that is it, except for being very, very tired and I don’t have a pill for that.

And you know what? I’m tough! I can handle it! What is it really except for a few annoying symptoms? Bring it on! Except that it all started about a hundred days ago and I’m loosing my strength!

If that wasn’t enough, I worked all day yesterday, dishes, laundry, Baby Girl, laundry, Target, bills, Baby Girl, dishes, Noel, laundry, all the way until 10:00, which is way past my bed time and then you know what happens! I can’t sleep! I toss and turn and wake up all night because I can’t stop thinking about work and the house we want to buy and being pregnant. And besides that, my underwear are so $%#$% tight I think my legs might turn blue, but I can’t find my big underwear, the comfortable cotton underwear in a big size from my last pregnancy. They are packed away somewhere in the garage, I just can’t find them and I don’t want to spend money on more big underwear, so I keep wearing my regular underwear, which are making my legs turn blue so I pull them off my body and throw them across the room.

So I’m at the doctor’s this morning because I’m still itchy and scratching myself like a baseball player and do you know what my male doctor says? He says, all fatherly-like, “Well maybe you are sensitive to this time, since this is about when you lost Grace in your last pregnancy, so it’s good that we see you as much as you need.” as if I’m some kind of hypochondriac. And I tell him, “Maybe I’m here because I’m itchy!” But my argument is weakened because I’m crying and I’ve been crying pretty much since I got here because you know what the nurse asked? She asked “How do you feel?” and who wouldn’t cry given a question like that?

When I get to work, I tell a girlfriend how I’m feeling. She is such a sweet heart. She helps me with my calendar, clearing some things and giving me time to rest. I work hard and I’ll work harder another day, but it is OK to rest for today. I start to calm down and I tell her about my underwear. I found my big underwear earlier in the morning. It was in a box in the garage labeled winter clothes. So at least one part of me is comfortable today. She has been pregnant. She knows what I mean. Yes, thank goodness for finding my big underwear.