Graceful Parenting in Austin

Blue Eyes and I have been teasing Noel lately, “Stop with all that reading! Will you please go watch some TV?” She is fascinated by the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, she has read all four books, each several times and she can pick up any of the books, find a favorite part and get lost for hours.

I decided to read Twilight over the holiday and it all started as good, clean fun, but I left it unfinished, because it made me feel creepy, in a way that didn’t have much to do with vampires…

At first I just thought it was funny. So, here is a bad boy I’m pretty sure I could resist. The whole ‘ I am VERY, VERY, VERY tempted to KILL YOU because you SMELL SO GOOD.’ would have done it for me. Of coarse, Bella makes it clear that Edward is VERY, VERY, VERY good looking. And what girl wouldn’t risk death for a VERY, VERY, VERY good looking boyfriend?

Well, to be fair, that isn’t the only reason Bella loves Edward. She is fascinated by him and drawn to him because he shows the intensity and power of his deep love by resisting his great temptation to kill her. This is very noble. But this doesn’t do much for me. If a guy REALLY wanted to kill me, but showed great restraint in NOT killing me, I think we would just end up back at the beginning, where most guys are, the ones who don’t get excited about killing me in the first place.

So that was all fun, but then I got more annoyed. For one thing, Bella says how good looking Edward is about a hundred times on every page, she even runs out of words for how to say it, the author must have used a thesaurus and some Google searches to find new expressions for VERY, VERY, VERY good looking. Bella is powerless in Edward’s very-good-looking presence, unable to speak or keep her composure and it just got old. I want a heroine who can hold her own and know she is beautiful and not be weak in the knees all day long just because a guy sparkles in the sun in a meadow.

Later, the annoyance turned into creepiness and I let go of the fantasy. Edward’s slow caresses and kisses on her neck, teasing her, that maybe this is the time he takes a bite. His strict instructions to her to remain still while being kissed, since a sudden movement could trigger his natural instincts and cause her death. His playful dominance and control over her, holding her in his arms so tight she can’t escape, while he flirts with her, wavering on the edge between violence and laughter.

Very creepy.

I hope this isn’t Noel’s idea of romance. That it is about danger and excitement and living on the edge instead of about basic human kindness to each other.

Am I worried that she has read these books so many times? That she has internalized this type of romance as something she might want?

Well, for one thing, I have made it clear to Noel that she is NOT allowed to date vampires, even if they are VERY, VERY, VERY good looking.

But I’m not worried. She knows the difference between a story and real life and the creepy part is probably be more of an adult perspective, one that comes from seeing unhealthy adult relationships. She will have her own experience with the books and I won’t ask her to feel creepy too. I’ll show Noel this post and talk to her about it, as another perspective, something to be aware of.

But no more vampire stories for me. I’ll go home tonight to my human husband and my everyday life and remember that that is what IT is for me, that is my sparkling sun in a meadow.